perfect starry nights. sweet dreams. moon beams. a love that's warm. and bright.

There are a few things I'd like to add to my list of dream jobs. Something about commuting and inhaling manila pollution inspires the idle mind to come up with brilliant ideas. Right.

NUMERO CINCO:
Vow Writer. Weddings hold a special place in my heart no matter how much I deny it. I think it's important that when two people commit to spend their lives together in front of God and the whole congregation, they do it in style. Sincerity is key but to do it with flair, romantic words and proper enunciation [!] adds a little extra.

Job Description:
1. Gets soon-to-weds' ideas and feelings about each other.
2. Translates the sentiments into an award-winning composition.
3. Rehearses the speech with clients until they pronounce each word correctly with the proper tone.
4. Makes the clients feel that these words really came from them.

NUMERO SAIS:
Image Generator. The world is an unfair place. People judge you within five seconds of meeting you. You judge people in the same length of time.

Job Description:
1. Consults client of the type of person they would want to impress.
2. Encourages client to add flair to their otherwise boring existence.
3. Generally produces a positive vibe all around for a feel-good aura. How can anyone not want to be around you then?

NUMERO SYETE:
Mean Girl/ Super Villain. It's a nice thing to help friends out and save them from being horrible. Yes friends, I can handle the job.

Job Description:
1. Lashes insults randomly.
2. Makes mean comments about everything nice.
3. Bashes lame people for no apparent reason.

NUMERO OTSO:
Do Gooder. No, it's not good doer. I like Do Gooder better. The exact opposite of a super villain. Don't worry, I can manage, I've MPD.

Job Description:
1. Helps client to do good things to help another friend.
2. Makes lists of things that can inspire client to become nicer.
3. Offers client to take the load off by accomplishing the good things herself.
4. Shares a lot of love and goodwill.

NUMERO NUEVE:
Safety Pin. There's no particular description for this. I just think it would be nice to say, "Hello, my name is Xaris, I'm a safety pin."

NUMERO DIYES: Mrs. Piolo Pascual. Like I need a reason for this.

Now is one of those not-so-rare times that I want a career revamp. Something tells me that the job i want has not yet been invented but thanks to imagination, I have made a list of jobs I wouldn't mind doing and getting paid for.

DREAM JOB NUMERO UNO:
Happiness Consultant. What with all the emo-ness going on, everyone needs a little cheering up. Sometimes all it takes is another person telling you what to do before you decide to end your angst-ridden life.

Job Description:
1. Listens to client's troubles and absorbs all the client's pain and sadness.
2. Allows client to wallow for some time.
3. Makes a list of endorphine-releasing activities to pump up the happy mode.
4. Makes sure that client follows through with happy activities.

DREAM JOB NUMERO DOS:
Resume Mocker. It's a known fact that some people find it difficult to stay in a job and thus do a bit of exploring while they are young. One vital key to consider in job-hopping is to submit an impressive resume.

Job Description:
1. Collects resumes or CVs from random people.
2. Laughs at hideous pictures [i.e. cropped beach pictures, glamor studio shots].
3. Corrects poor grammar and parallelism in entries.
4. Makes notes on what NOT to include in a resume. This is not a friendster profile, oi.
5. Suggests use of pink and scented stationeries "to give it a little extra." Or not.

DREAM JOB NUMERO TRES:
Dictionary Writer. So it's not exactly a new job but I want my own language. Pfft.

Job Description:
1. Subscribes to the xaris' non-rules for impeccable grammar.
2. Creates new word forms and uses it in daily conversation.
3. Incorporates the new words in daily life and convinces everyone that they are stupid for not knowing what the word means.
4. Encourages misuse of proper english but laughs inwardly at those gullible enough to take it seriously.

DREAM JOB NUMERO QUATRO:
Career Reconsiderator. Someone who tells you to move into a new job by listing traits and abilities you never knew you had until consultation.

1. Adheres to the xaris' dictionary to get away with the title 'reconsiderator.' [in case you didn't know, there is no such word]
2. Sits down with a client to extract secret dream jobs.
3. Encourages client to chase a dream if [and only if] client is confident to brave the odds.
4. If client does not respond, CR dismisses the case and asks for free coffee instead.

*All JOBS include free stalking services to help client impress future colleagues, bosses, or love potentials.
*Batteries included. Each sold separately.

i stole this from dioney.

the rules:
1. Write something about fifteen different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you are NOT to tell.

the twist:
if you guess which one is about/for you correctly, i just might admit to it. haha. trylaloo.

okay okay.

1. you always talk in riddles either to put me off or to avoid the question. why'd you have to make it so hard?
2. i hate being judgmental but with you, it comes naturally.
3. you always tell me i can do it but you never believe me when i tell you you can.
4. will you marry me? haha.
5. i loved you since day one.
6. i really think yours is one of the prettiest faces i've ever seen.
7. i gave up on my film-making dreams because of you.
8. i will never tell you you broke my heart when you sided with "it" out of bias. boo you.
9. don't let it get through your head, but clearly, you have to reconsider your career choice.
10. i love being mean when you are around.
11. you are living the life i want to live. i love you for not rubbing it in.
12. you can't like hanging out with them better than being with us. we've been friends forever!
13. we could have been together. why'd you have to choose the other side?
14. love doesn't always have to mean peachy or cheesy, thanks for reminding me. until next time.
15. i will treat you to coffee one of these days, just come around, so we can talk about it.

wait... there's more. haha. ang saya eh. :D
16. do you have to be so perfect?
17.  you give ____ a bad name.
18. thank you for liking me for who i am, nice or otherwise, you love me still. i miss you too!
19. i'm glad you already found the one.
20. ako na lang! haha.

guess away. clue, syempre if you are usually reading my thoughts, i have one for you in this list. if you are a lurker but you are special to me, you have one here too. and if you are ryan seacrest [hello, hello] eh it's kind of tough to identify which one's for you, diba? haha.